"I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners and need to repent."*Luke 5:32
"Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall "*Proverbs 16:18
Recently, I've been really struggling with the sin in my heart...I can try to cover it up with good deeds, smiles and words...but no one will be fooled, especially Jesus..
"And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God". *Romans 8:27
“I the LORD search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds.” * Jeremiah 17:10
Day in and day out I try to be the best Christian Wife, Mom and person I can be...but many a time I attempt to do this in my own strength, wisdom, and ways...none of this ever gets me anywhere. I might be able to do this for a short stint, but then I get burnt out and my nasty sin starts to seep through my pours and comes out in my attitudes, words and actions toward my family. Usually, my husband, son and even my poor dog are the ones who get the worst of me. It's not right, it's not fair and quite frankly it's shameful. It's frustrating to proclaim Christ and not behave in ways that are in accordance with His Word and Spirit, but time and again that is me. I proclaim Jesus, but I don't act like He does. I proclaim Jesus, but I don't think like He does. I proclaim Jesus but I don't respond like He does...so then what is the deal? Am I not a follower of Jesus Christ?
Well, not necessarily, but what I do know is that instead of abiding in Him, I am doing things my way in the flesh and not in the Spirit of God. The Lord said the fruit of the Spirit is:
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law". *Galatians 5:22-23
The works of the flesh are:
"Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God". *Galatians 5:19-21
Now for me...I am not struggling with any sort of sexual sin...but the others that are in bold? YES! I get so impatient with my Husband and Son..I bark at them..I blame them for my bad attitudes and poor responses...and why? Because I am burnt out on my way of doing things.
Frank Sinatra wrote a song, "I did it my way"...Well, "I did it my way and it DOESN'T WORK!!!!"
I am worn out, frustrated, angry, bitter and at my wits end with doing things my way. Our greatest deeds and attempts at righteousness are as filthy rags ( used pads or tampons) I know that is gross, but it's the truth!
I can try to act like I have it together and try to keep it together, but the truth is no matter how "together" I think I am, it will never be good enough in comparison to Christ's PURE HOLINESS and MAJESTIC PERFECTION!! That is why the GOSPEL is SUCH GOOD NEWS!!!
He takes nasty, filthy, rotten sinners and says, "Hey I love you! I love you so much that I died on the cross, rose again and took all your sin upon me and in exchange I give you forgiveness, I will clean you up, and make you new! WOW!
"For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ". *2 Corinthians 5:21
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him". *John 3:16-17
As Good Friday approaches and Easter does just around the corner...I'm reminded of why I need Jesus! Why in my sin, depravity and weakness...my only Hope is JESUS of Righteousness!!!
I am humbled, grateful and hopeful because of HIS WORD, HIS SACRIFICE, HIS LOVE, HIS PROMISE and HIS EVERLASTING LOVE and WORK OF SANCTIFICATION...
One of my favorite verses of ALL TIME is:
"And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ". *Philippians 1:6
This gives me hope!! I am not righteous, I don't have it together, I am broken and humbled...but by the grace of God I can come to the Lord and say, "Here I am Lord" Once again, I ask for forgiveness for my sin, for my foolishness, for my bad attitudes, for my hurtful words, actions and habits. Lord God, take me, and make this broken pot into a vessel that can serve You in and of Your goodness alone and nothing that I can produce. Because my best would never be good enough. You Lord are ENOUGH! Thank You!
So, I am sick..I need the Great Physician to come in a heal me through forgiveness, clean me up with the water of His Holy word, bandage me up in His banner of love and give me His medicine daily doses of His Word and filling of His Spirit. So going to church isn't for perfect, righteous people, it's for sick people like me. To come and sit at His feet, repent, be reminded of His love and to be together with other believers who will pray with and for me.
Yesterday, I went to church..had a bad attitude...and for the sake of not making a scene, my husband decided we needed to go home. So we did, but I would have gladly sat there in my sick state, knowing God would have met me...because He doesn't call the the righteous, but those who know they are sinners and need to repent. Thank You Lord for loving us sick people! :)
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