Phantom Homemaker- Overwhelmed and in need of Help

So, years ago I read a book about Christianity, and within that book the author discussed a concept called, "The Phantom Christian" It's that Christian that haunts us, the one with all the expectations we keep in our minds about ourselves that we never meet, the one that keeps nagging us to always have things in order, always respond perfectly to every situation, the one that judges others with the same standard, that essentially keeps you imprisoned and drains you of your joy to just live"...

Well, along the same lines, I've found that in my life I have the same type of ideals, expectations that plague me and weigh me down..which I would like to call the "Phantom Homemaker"...this horrid nag looms over me with such a heavy weight I simply cannot carry. This blasted Phantom tells me, "The house needs to be in order, all dishes and laundry done, time managed like clockwork, I need to look my best all the time, make time to workout like a beast so I can be in the best shape to be attractive to my husband, I need to plan activities for my 2 year old son that are creative, thoughtful, meet x,y,z criteria and prepare him for his future, that I have to make meals from scratch, decorate my home like something out of a magazine and always be smiling and kind, soft and feminine...able to meet every need that's presented to me and also be up at  like 3am to have a 5 hour long quiet time...

Okay...some of this was written with MAJOR exaggeration, but SERIOUSLY, don't we do this to ourselves? Don't we create "Phantom Homemaker's" and when we don't have the expectations met, we find ourselves absolutely defeated, downcast, discouraged and just feeling like we don't measure up...perhaps this is just me? I HIGHLY doubt it! Knowing several other Stay at Home Mommies and having conversations with them or reading their blog posts or facebook comments, you come to see a theme that arises at times and I think that a lot of the pressures we place upon ourselves or we feel our communities, society and family and friends at times can really make us feel inundated, overwhelmed and consistently defeated! Yet, the Lord said to come to Him when we are weary, His yoke is easy and burden is light (*Matt 11:28-30)

Yet, time and time again we pick up those loads and heap them on ourselves and though with good intention and zeal we can't keep it up! I've had moments of victorious triumph..where I pat myself on the back and filled with pride I'd have everything (or so I thought) in order and up to par in my estimation...yet, schedules would change, interruptions would come, sickness, unexpected phone calls or favors etc. .......and then the schedule by which I accomplished everything I thought necessary was thrown off and I felt panic...Panic because immediately I knew that something would not get done, something would need to be overlooked, we might have to get take out for dinner or I might not have a shower and look decent by the time my husband got home or something to this affect...

After reading a dear friend and old co-workers blog about the guilt she feels related tot he same thing, I thought, goodness I TOTALLY relate! We do feel guilt, regret etc for not "having it together"...but when did Jesus ever say, "I've come to restore the perfect and reward them for their diligence and bless them with more than others because they help themselves, so I will help them"!!! Yah! I have never read that in the BIBLE! EVER! The Lord tells us to "Seek Him first and everything else will be added" (*Matt 6:33) He tells us to abide in Him, and He will abide in us (*John 15), He tells us to cast our burdens on Him, because He cares for us (*1 Peter 5:7), He says "If you need wisdom, ask me for it and I will give it" (*James 1:5)...so He is always inviting us to ask Him for help!

So, why do we fool ourselves (I'll speak for myself) and think we can carry this load on our own? We cannot....even though we might fall prey to believing the lie that being a "Homemaker" is no big deal, it's not important, it's trivial and mundane...guess what people? It takes work, a lot of work, work that goes unnoticed, work that can be stinky, dirty, redundant, never-ending really, but it requires managing time, managing chores, planning meals, planning out schedules and getting errands done, knowing what each member of the household needs and meeting those needs and so much more...but what is more important is for the people that live in that home to know they are loved and cherished...when we got SUPER caught up with the tasks and make that priority over the people, then instead of being a "home" it just becomes a clean house, with invisible messes in the hearts of the people, because they are neglected.

So, how do we find the balance? How do we get things done around the house and meet the needs of our family? Well, I am trying to figure this one out myself,  but one thing I am learning for sure is that I CANNOT do this by myself! I absolutely need Jesus to help me.. I need Him to give me love, give me strength, give me wisdom, give me the right attitude, give me motivation and essentially give me Himself so I can do what He wants...So, today for the rest of the time I have, I am praying that I will lean on Him, that I will ask Him for help, that I will ask Him first about what needs are to be met and what the priorities are...because we can't do it ALL..we can only do what God wants us to do and He will supply what we need!!!

Dear Jesus, Help us! We need Your help...many of us are tired, cranky, depressed, overwhelmed, frazzled, bitter, scatterbrained and pulled into so many directions we don't know which way to go. So, we ask for Your help, Your strength, Your wisdom, Your love and Your joy to be able to love our families and not be the "Phantom Homemaker" BUT the homemaker, wife and mom that YOU want us to be. Show us Lord Your plan for each of us as individuals, as every home has different needs. Taylor make a plan for us and give us the sensitivity to discern how to listen and follow Your instruction in our roles as Homemakers. In JESUS MOST PRECIOUS NAME. AMEN!

LOTS OF LOVE AND HUGS TO YOU!!!